Infj and intj dating

I had not met someone who made me feel like I was looking into a mirror, but with a deeper voice, more confidence and self assurance. I had not even considered his personality type or how compatible we may be because it all went very smoothly. From my own empirical evidence, we are very compatible, share similar values and we generally have the same approach to life. The INTJ boyfriend will be reading a book on one side of the room and I will be truly demolishing noobs on league of legends. I do not like big groups. He is a lot more social that I am and has different groups of friends the mind boggles.

He gets this and has always gone out of his way to make sure I am not in a situation like that, or if I have to be, that I am not there longer than necessary.

The Surprising Thing About Dating an INTJ, as an INFJ

When meeting his best friend, I am aware that he agave him a talking to to not freak me out. Turns out his bestie was an INFJ and we got on rather well! We take turns talking and are both really good listeners. On this front, we get on like a house on fire.

INTJ Relationships, Love, & Compatibility

I do have to nudge him every now about communication because he sometimes seems to rely on me bringing things up before he lets it rip. We enjoy discussing big ideas and solving the worlds troubles over dinner. We have similar views on the big things and occasionally disagree. I appreciate the viewpoint he brings to the conversation as he is very rational and everything seems to be black and white to him sometimes, which boggles my righteous, overly humanitarian mind.

We enjoy talking about the future. Him more so than me as I appear to be the risk averse one. I have attributed this to the ordinary fears of an INFJ when in any intense relationship. We do seem to lack interest in everyday living. I cannot say that I spend that much time obsessing over the ironing or the washing.

Mind you, until earlier this year, my dear boyfriend had existed on this earth without owning an iron. We are both young professionals and I suspect a large part of our desire to succeed in our careers is so that we can hire a few assistants in later life. So this is where we start to diverge. Me and my boyfriend are both introverted intuitive types.

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However, we externalise our introverted intuitive perceptions differently. The primary difference comes down to Thinking vs Feeling. For the majority of the time, our temperaments are similar. Everything can be packaged in his little Thinker head. He is one of the few people I know who can take criticism and make an action plan from it without taking offence. I call him Action Plan Man. He tackled the problem with military precision and would completely phase out for an hour a day whilst completing the mission.

The Surprising Thing About Dating an INTJ, as an INFJ | INFJ Forum

He asked for my input throughout the whole process and he took all my feedback well and continued on his little mission. I cannot speak for him on this matter without tooting my own horn. Sometimes I notice how straightforward with me he is and have to remember not to take offence because a large part of the internalisation is to do with INFJs being sensitive to all emotions. So when my thinker boyfriend says something bluntly without meaning anything ill at all, it always evokes a larger than expected reaction from me. In this respect I do believe that this is where we are well balanced.

Between us we are ablate gain a lot of different perspectives before making important decisions. I do not like conflict and sometimes will go to great lengths to avoid this. It sometimes makes the situation more complicated than normal. We normally just laugh it off. There is a lot of affection in the relationship.

I think he clocked on early on that this was my language of love and he has been exemplary. Likewise, I also have to be very straightforward with him about my feelings as this is the way he receives my show of affection better. We like to use calendars to organise ourselves. If it is not in our calendars, it is not happening. The other sends an invite and we accept or decline accordingly.

Extraverted Thinking in INTJ Relationships

It really is that simple. And if a non INTJ is intimidated from our high intelligence or if they cannot match it they probably shouldn't date us. Less intelligent partners bore me to tears. I wouldn't even pursue such a relationship. It would not work for me. Intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac. I might be selective, but that doesn't make me a snob!

Please keep in mind that some people are more highly evolved, have done more psychological work and therefore have become more integrated over time. This is a statement of fact and not an argument for elitism. It should not be assumed that your readership is 'know nothing' INTJs that require instruction. Maybe that's your targeted audience. But this form of instruction is a 'hard sell' because most INTJs are self reflective, sensitive and critical of their faults. They probably have a better sense of themselves than most types.

Therefore, a strategy to communicate using gross generalizations is not going to be effective at reaching a large audience. PersonalityJunkie does a much better jon in that regard, informing rather than preaching or instructing. For example, this article's statement: I am in touch with my feelings and I can express them quite well. It's not my natural 'go to' or preference, however, I have developed my feeling side over the years to the point that I sometimes test INFJ.

INTJ behavior can be context specific. Respecting your INTJ readership means respecting individual differences and stages of development. Let me offer another perspective. I feel quite comfortable with my relationship to romance as an INTJ. I am not born a romantic. And I do not plan to become one any time soon. It hasn't been an issue with any of my partners either.

Is This for Real?

We are okay with not celebrating Valentine's Day. We find ways to be intimate in our own ways and on our own terms. Secondly, it would be inaccurate to say that INTJs are awkward with the dating game. Rather, it would be more fair to say, we don't to play the "dating game". It's stupid and unnecessary.

INFJ Compatibility - Who is the best life partner for you?

The establishment of mature, adult intimate relationships between two consenting adults does not require game playing. INTJs are not incompetent idiots when it comes to romance. INTJs don't value to superficial elements and rituals that men and women go through to make it into the bedroom.