Kent 68 years old United States. Who has a birthday today. Inna , 26, Ukraine. Svetlana , 36, Russian Federation, Cheljabinsk.
Lora , 65, Russian Federation, Moscow. Irina , 37, Ukraine, Kharkov. Tina , 58, Russian Federation, Irkutsk.
Katerina , 34, Ukraine, Dnepropetrovsk. Sveta , 32, Ukraine, Svatove. Lurita , 61, Russian Federation, Krasnodar.
Saida , 23, Russian Federation. Natali , 60, Ukraine.
Elena , 27, Russian Federation. Irina , 47, Russian Federation, Nerjungri. Tatiana , 54, Ukraine, Chyhyryn. Oksana , 44, Ukraine, Kiev. Aussiestir , 53, Australia, Marrickville. Roberto , 58, Spain, Leon. Huseyin , 63, Turkey, Didim.
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Pat , 59, Canada, Fort Erie. Giuseppe , 66, Italy, Catania. Moshe , 49, Israel, Holon. Maverick , 45, Australia, Brisbane. Roby , 49, Italy, Firenze. Once I'm fairly sure the girl is Russian normally by eavesdropping on her conversations , I sidle over and make lighthearted small-talk to assess the situation. She's from St Petersburg, she tells me, and is She adores nightclubs and giggles about getting in free on account of her uscule skirts.
As she sips her chilled Vodka Martini she tells me she wants to see more of the world, travelling.
Invasion of the Russian gold diggers
As the evening goes on, it turns out Svetlana thinks Disney World in Florida is another of the seven wonders of the world. As is Nelson's column, apparently. Svetlana turns her attention to hair colour and asks me if I think brunettes are more intelligent than blondes. I tell her I don't.
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I order another Martini. Svetlana tells me that an ex-boyfriend bought her a convertible Mini. I sense she would expect the same from me. I have a fun evening with Svetlana, but it is obvious that my most important charm apart from my tolerance of endless discussion of hair colour is what she believes to be my wealth.
That's what she's looking for - and she'll find it, because she's determined to. But not from me. While ordering drinks, I strike up conversation. She is a brunette and intelligent. She is doing her final practical training to become a pathologist. I watch in awe as she expertly dissects her rare steak.
In order to justify my interest in Russian women, I have claimed a knowledge of the nation's literature. To my horror, between bloody mouthfuls she starts to question me on Tolstoy. I more or less carry it off - and adjust my mental stereotype of a Muscovite moll. It's an enjoyable evening, and oddly I don't feel she is one of the Russianistas seeking wealth above all else.
Ludmila does not bat an eyelid and she has no plans on going dutch. I drop her off in the taxi, and the next morning she sends me a text message telling me she had a nice time. Nastia proves less complicated. She's pretty, pale-skinned and has a pixie-like expression. Audrey Hepburn meets Bjork. Having overheard her accent in a small coffee shop in central London, I strike up conversation and invite her out for dinner.
I am sensing a pattern here. These gals will happily accede to a request for a date from any man who looks loaded. Perhaps there's a sliding scale: I ask Nastia where she'd like to go. She says Nobu one of London's most fashionable and expensive restaurants. Nastia tells me it's her particular ambition to get to know an Englishman and explains that she is turned on by "money and power". At least she's honest.
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I tell her it's far better than my Russian. She asks me what I mean. The evening turns into a series of mistranslations. Despite the language barrier, Nastia seems keen and at one point leans over the table and whispers in my ear: Having remortgaged my flat, I am able to pay the bill at Nobu, and Nastia and I part as friends. I am beginning to think that even if they are all golddiggers, they are tremendous fun. She wants to meet me near the Bank of England.
This is clearly a woman who likes the proximity of money. I book a restaurant with a Michelin-starred chef and wait in the bar for her to arrive. Blonde with harsh features, she briskly shakes my hand and refuses a drink from the bar. She wants a cup of tea. I mentally shrug and go over to the maitre d' and explain discreetly: She explains to me that she had been married to a man from Azerbaijan who was resident in the UK.
Now they are divorced. On the basis of my evening with her, he will have had no difficulty proving unreasonable behaviour. Natalia, Ludmila, Nastia, Svetlana, Oxana - were they typical? It had become clear to me that I had only scratched the surface - that there are thousands, maybe tens of thousands out there, looking for a rich British date.
But let me offer a word of warning to over-sexed Englishmen hoping for an easy catch and quick escape.